Iggy's Blog
by Trouble.With.Words
Summary: While Max is saving the world and Fang is going green, where's Iggy?. Being bored he sets up his own blog, if Fang can do, surely the blind kid can too. Just little oneshots, was a blog and now...well its something much more lol Please R R, thanks
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, well i wanted to do a Max Ride Fic for a while but there's so many people on it, but i recently got the new book**_** Max**_** and got obsessed again, so here's my first attempt at a Max Ride Fic, concerning my favourite Iggy( i mean **_**how **_**could you not love him!) Hope you like it R&R x**

**Disclaimer: Well I don't own anything in the Max Ride series, other than the books, of course but that doesn't count, Right?...**

Iggy's Blog....Day One!

Subject: Intro's

Hey guys, as you can probley tell I'm Iggy! nice of you to stop by. Whose Iggy you might ask?. I'm forthteen, tall, blonde...and blind, hey, we all have our little problems. I'm the third member of the Ride household and the primary source of cooking and cleaning for my family. Okay, I'm no Max, who saves the world every second day or Fang, who does right by mankind and all of god's creatures but Hey! I can cook and make killer bombs...so, whatever!.

Anyway my current location is Max's room, who has the only other computer now that as basically christened the laptop as his, so I'll have to be quick before Max comes in and yanks me off(literally).

Now I'm not really sure how to use this computer or do the whole blog thing, so I'll guess I'll have to wing it... (No pun intended). You guys are just lucky I can see the keyboard, i made Max get a white computer so i could use it too, i mean, this computer has like 50 buttons, how am I suppose to remember all of them!, being blind is such a drag...at least I have the looks to make up for it:].

I know my brother Fang would probley like go on about 'being green' and 'power to the kids' but I'm so sick of being environmental, i mean, sure i do my bit, pick up the odd wrapper and stuff but I'm a 6ft 7 blind kid with wings...there's only such much I can do, give me a break!. I'll leave saving the world to Max, who is more than capable (I hope) and be her lackey when she needs me, brotherly love and all that Jazz.

Speaking of Max and Fang...Well, let's just say being blind has its advantages. Unfortunately my ears are perfect and with Nudge channel doing daily updates...you get the picture. I wish i had a remote for her but I suppose she can't help it.

Anyway guys, being called to make dinner, gotta go, hope this has been enlightening or whatever, be back soon though, this blog thing is actually kind of...fun and very addictive. But stay tuned and I'll let you know how the Flock and its surroundings are doing. See you guys soon...if I don't blow myself up first:].

-Iggy

**A/N: Hey, i actually really like writing this, Iggy is such a good character, I love the way he always looks on the bright side, not taking anything too seriously. If you guys have any real questions to ask Iggy, just tell me it and I'll write them into the Fic, hope you guys like my fic and I'm sorry its really short but I want to do loads of little blog entries to keep it interesting, will update soon anyway. Review and let my know what you think x**


	2. Day 2

Hey guys, Love this story so I'm going to update anyway....Hope you like it...x R&R!

Iggy's Blog...Day 2

Subject: Nudge?!?

Hey there normal people, its blind mutant kid*wave*...again, okay now just want to talk a little bit about Nudge...., and there's a lot to say. Nudge is being really nice to me..., I mean way overly needed nice. Not only that but she tells me her problems, like I'm a shrink or something....well, all I can say is I'm glad I'm not a girl(no offence ladies). What Nudge is like 12 now..., IGGY don't even go there. God, i feel all pervy. She's like my sister....then again, Max was Fang's sister so that's not a valid reason. But i screwed up big time last week and Fang was the only one there....and, well Nudge too. The flock and i are living in Doctor Martinez's and she enrolled us in a nearby school. Anyway long story short, Nudge was going out with a couple of friends later on and she wanted to know my opinion on her dress and this is where it goes downhill...,

"Nudge I can't even see it..." I said, from the small hallway in the house, leaning against the wall.

"I know" she said from the bathroom "But" and then I heard the door open "But i thought you could well-"She sounded nervous, Why was she nervous?...."Iggy, I thought maybe you could...feel the dress"

My mind before Nudge said that= O

My mind after=.

It's quite sad really that my response was "....?" Now if she hadn't been wearing the dress i would be like "Sure, let's go, lead the way" (you get the drift) but this was Nudge...and she was wearing the dress and....I like grew up with her...can anyone say awkward!

My mind ran blank...er, when Nudge came up and put her arms around my neck and pulled me down so she could whisper "Iggy...I really like you" She stopped and I could feel her breath on my neck "Like...more than a brother..."

Well that was all I needed being the hormonal teenage boy that I am (plus wings). I put my arms around her waist and said "Purple feels good on you" and then when I was just about to kiss her, i mean like lips millimetres away from hers....

"What the FUCK!?!" Well being that the voice belonged to Fang I couldnt use the blind card like

"This is Nudge...What! I had no idea...." or

"I was feeling around for my room when i bumped into her...."

Yeah they weren't going to work.

"Fang" began Nudge, so much more bravery then I was.... "Itsnotwhatitlookslike, Iggy, iswearhewashelpingmewithmydress"...or not.

Fang however said in a steel voice ".now"

I felt Nudge pull away from me but heard her whisper "Sorry" and heard her make her way down the hall, then the familiar creek of her door.

Okay she was safe, but what little old blind me, i was left out in the open, Fang was stronger, angrier and a tat bit emo...which we'll come back to later, back to me ....Yeah...I'm so screwed.

"Ig" was all I heard and was surprised to hear it sound sorry. "Ig, come on into my room, i need to talk to you" was all he said, which is a lot more than usual but Max was soften him...you know you want to say awhhhhh...anyway back to my immediate death....

What could I say "Sorry Fang, thanks but no thanks" i was lucky to be alive so I said "sure", I walked passed him and into his room, where he closed the door with a sigh....I have such a urge to go Dun Dun Dun Duh, Duh Duh Duh Dun or something but I wouldn't...it's to cheesy.

Anyway guys...got to go, tell you how it ended later...you know...if I'm still breathing or my arms or legs (depends) haven't been broken...let us pray people. Amen.

-Iggy

A/N: Well Anyway guys let you know what happens soon....Review though, because I want to know if you guys like it and...Iggy depends on it:] xoxo


	3. Day 3

**Twilightacademy: Hey there people, thanks for the reviews, there nice to have, I feel all fuzzy lol :], I have to edit some of the other chapters because my computer is having one of its 'moments', anyway , I felt compelled to continue..., because I want too, Sorry if there's grammar issues(I like to rush things, bad habit I'm trying to get rid of), also, I'll try to be consistent(just for you guys x) BUT your here to see Iggy, so I'll go *waves, and runs off***

**Iggy: Jesus' I thought she'd never leave...you're so lucky you don't have to listen to her....ANYWAY! On with the blog...**

**

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****Disclaimer: I don't own Iggy or anything of James Patterson's...unfortunately*sigh***

**Iggy: Helllllo, I own myself, stop trying to steal my identity, stalker!... Who's James Patterson?**

**Iggy's Blog...Day 3**

**Subject: ****Where was I....oh, yeah, Fang's about to kill me!  
**

**Okay folks...it's our third day so let's be honest with each other...it's not looking good is it? You know they say your life flashes before your eyes before you die. For me...it's all...FOGGY, come on what did you expect, I'm blind. Anyway, Fang was standing right in front of me, he closed his eyes as he rubbed his forehead, as I, took quiet calming breaths (God!I make it sound like a extreme yoga class or something...,anyway). He opened his mouth to talk and I was waiting for the obvious abuse to be hurled at me, such as,**

"**Iggy...what were you thinking"**

"**She's 12 years old, she's practically a minor!"**

"**You grew up with her!"**

**Thankfully, before he began, the door opened to reveal Max. Your know, I never wanted to see Max so much (Metaphorically, at least) in my whole messed up life as in that moment. She however, only had eyes for Fang,  
"Fang...can I talk-Iggy" She must have looked behind Fang and seen little old me, "What are you doing here?" There was a tone to her voice I didn't recognize but I stood up glad at the helpful distraction,**

"**...Wh-What?...Oh I was asking Fang for a...water proof towel!" I kicked myself mentally...a water proof towel...What the fuck!**

"**Iggy?" she asked sounding concerned, there's a first. My high pitched nervous laughter to her response even freaked me out...and that's saying something.**

"**Pretty lame joke, I'll have to work on it!"**

**I walked passed them and...Straight into the wall. I staggered back, dazed and laughed again (in the manic nervous way I do best),**

"**Sorry guys...I feel light headed, I thing I might sit down" as I darted from the room and made my way down the hall before they could say otherwise. I let a smile spread across my face**

"_**I'm alive..."**_** and started laughing, what a close one guys...i thought i was a goner myself. Like it wasn't over yet...but for now at least I had time to prepare excuses for almost kissing Nudge. As I thought about Max and Fang, I froze half way down the hall. I left Fang....with Max. THE Max. What if he told her about me and Nudge, No hhe wouldnt do that, he's my brother....as if on cue, I heard a screech from Fang's room**

"_**WHAT?!?.....IGGY! JEFF! WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR NAME, IS GET IN HERE NOW!!!!"**_**Well I think we can hazard a guess as to who that was and being the faithful brother, I made my way down to Fang's room...OF COURSE I DIDN'T!, I'm not suicidal, I did the sensible thing...I ran like hell! As I muttered under my breath, **

"**And i would have got away with it, if it wasn't for that meddling Emo"**

**So guys again the prayers are appraised, so GO NOW! To the nearest church and have a word with the big guy for little old me. Seeing as its Max though, when you turn up to the church, I'll probley be already marched to the graveyard in a casket. Heading to the nearest safe house,**

**-Iggy**

**A/N:**

**Twilightacademy: So...what did you guys think, I didn't think it was too bad-**

**Iggy: That bad...THAT BAD! You have Max after me! I'm screwed... she's going to kill me!**

**Twilightacademy: I know right*smiles evilly***

**Iggy:*glares* you're so evil**

**Twilightacademy: You're so sweet... but your better run, I think I see-**

**Max: IGGY!**

**Iggy: Shit*fly's away***

**Twilightacademy: *eats popcorn and watches on* can't wait to see what happens...review guys, pretty please...Iggy needs the support and Max's needs a better weapon lol :] bye x**

Twilightacademy: It's a long story....but blog first!

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	4. Day 4

**Twilightacademy: Hey Guys, I'm glad you like it and thanks for the reviews, I'll try keep up the standards but I'm so tired...but I really wanted to update, so-**

**[Knock on door]**

**Sorry guys I'll be back in a sec,**

**...........**

**Iggy:*ragged breathing*...I....made....it**

**Twilightacademy: Get off my computer...I'm writing....wait, how did you get into my house?**

**Iggy:*smiles evilly* I have my ways...**

**Twilightacademy: That's just...creepy O.O, you're lucky I like you, anyway guys here's my story...Hope you like it and Please review...Even if you don't like it :D x**

**Iggy:....What she said!**

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**Disclaimer:**

**Twilightacademy: I don't own Iggy (he owns himself) or the Max Ride series By James Patterson....YET, I'm working on it...come on Iggy!**

**Iggy: Where we going?**

**Twilightacademy: To get the rights of Max Ride...duh!**

**Iggy: OH, Yeah...how could I not have known that....!!!**

**Twilightacademy: Hey, don't be sarcastic....Are you coming or not!?!?**

**Iggy:*sighs* Yeah, Yeah, I'm coming woman! You can't even drive!**

**Twilightacademy: So...I learn on the way! Anyway, guys enjoy the chapter*^^***

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**Iggy...... Day 4**

**Subject: MAX!**

**Okay let's look at our current situation shall we,**

**Situation: Being chased by a angry, highly hormonal girl...with wings**

**Condition: Stable...but that can change very quickly**

**Task:....TO GET AWAY...what kind of stupid survey is this anyway,**

**Goal: To see next birthday...you know what I mean!**

**Options:**

**Get killed my winged hormonal girl**

**Kill winged hormonal girl**

**Move to a different state**

**Go back****(That's not really a option right now)**

**Suicide(see above)**

**GO to GAZZY**

**Okay, not great options, I'll admit that. And not very realistic either...**

**I mean, I can't kill Max...Fang would kill me.**

**I can't get to a different state because....I don't know where the nearest state is!**

**Suicide is way too much of an effort...besides what am I going to do, cut myself with a spare feather! No thanks; I'll leave the Emo stuff to Fang.**

**So...Gazzy it is.............God, I'm going to die!**

**Anyway, I eventually got to his bedroom door, and turned the handle...it was locked. Okay, I was breathing very heavy now, hyperventilating would be an accurate word, considering I have lungs AND air shacks. I thumped the door, and no one came...yeah I could picture Max finding me, so close, yet so far away from freedom, and I would say, **

"**Look, I'm sorry...can you ever forgive me?" In a dramatic, theatrical voice. And she would look sorrowful at me then say,**

"**NO WAY!"...cue funeral.**

**I was contemplating funeral arrangements when I heard Max coming...and I thought, Screw this!**

**I repeatedly banged Gazzy's door shouting my head off,**

"**GAZZY OPEN THE DOOR NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOOD, I'LL...I'LL DO SOMWHITNG!" Suddenly I heard the locks of the door open, (yes people, he had locks on the bedroom door...padlocks...he had 7 PADLOCKS on his BEDROOM door, I mean come on!) and there in the doorway Gazzy replied sleepily,**

"**Iggy...what the hell-" I pushed past him and hurriedly closed all the locks...not that would stop Max, like she's saving the world and all. If she couldnt get pashed 7 padlocks...well...we're all screwed, nice knowing ya.**

"**Iggy its 3...in the MORNING! Like what the hell-"He lied down on his bed. I sat down too.**

"**Gaz, Max is going to kill me...do not go a sleep, you have to help me!" The desperation in my voice was embarrassing, as I pulled him up and I could practically feel the smile on Gazzy's face.**

"**What did you do this time?" He said sitting up and taking a can of soda (A/N:*^^* that sounds so American*^^*) out of his mini fridge (where the hell did he get a mini fridge!), he gave me a can and took a drink out of his own. I had to tell him...it really wasn't a big deal, right?**

"**...I kissed...Well, i nearly did...i nearly kissed Nudge!" I rushed the last bit but I'm sure Gaz heard, since he spit half of his drink out.**

"_**You kissed Nudge!" **_

"**Nearly" I had to stress that point...like i didn't even get a chance to...even though i was getting killed for it anyway.**

"**Like **_**Nudge**_**, Nudge....Like our **_**Nudge**_**!" His voice sounded shocked and surprised, but not angry and I was good till that emotion started but Gaz was a easy guy...I just had to hope he was okay with this...I need a team Iggy member in my corner(other than you guys, who can only read my misfortunes). **

**It kind of sounds like a boxing match, I can picture it and everything, the referee shouting,**

"_**In this corner, weighing 81 pounds.....Maaaaaaaaaax 'save the world' Ride**_

_**And in this corner weighing 90 pounds.....Iggggggggy 'Should have gone to specsavers' Ride.**_

**But back to the pressing matter...what did he mean our Nudge.**

"**NO the Nudge who lives on the yellow brick road!" I almost shouted.**

"**Really?" He sounded curious. This was NOT the night I needed him to act like a 9 year old!**

"**OF COURSE OUR NUDGE WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT, NUDGE ISNT A VERY COMMON NAME!"**

"**Okay, jeez, sorry...but Nudge....weird...but anyway, Max is more of an issue right now isn't it" Thank god, now this is the Gazzy i know...always thinking ahead...planning schemes... "So...what are you going to do, Max is going to kill you" He started laughing...LAUGHING...because I was about to die at the angry, hormonal girl's hands. I stood up ****and looked around the room (bad way****of putting it) lets rephrase that... ****and paced the room angrily. What could I do...wait I was in Gazzy's room,**

"**Gaz, have you got any bombs?' I asked with a shred of hope in my voice.**

"**Yeah...Wait, what are you going to do...blow Max up?" he asked it seriously but coming from a 9 year old, it just sounded funny...but I heard Max coming down the hall now, no time for jokes people back to business.**

"**NO of course not....might leave that for plan B though...good to have backups" I could tell he nodded. Seated on the bed he said,**

"**Good, I like Max...plus, you'd be like a terriost or something by blowing her up, not a good look for us, you know"**

"**Yeah, maybe...Hey, maybe I could strap a bomb to myself and tell her if she comes near me I'll detonate it" I had a feeling I was on to something, Gazzy had other ideas,**

"**But if you blow yourself up, wouldn't you be doing her a favour, like she wants to kill you, so you'll be doing the hard work for her...plus, you'll be a suicidal bomber if you blow up everything in range..." I had to admit the boy ha d a point...but my mind went blank when I heard the door be kicked down, and Max's voice saying with a smirk,**

"**There you are Iggy I was looking everywhere for you"**

**Shit!**

**Anyway, stay tuned because Max isn't a very happy flock leader and I'm not a very happy flock member. This cant end well, but I'm sure you knew that already,...remember to pray for me people, because I need to NOT die until I get a girlfriend, because man cannot live my Fang's descriptions alone, See you on the other side,**

**-Iggy**

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**A/N:**

**Twilightacademy: Sorry guys, It's not nearly as good as last time's, actually I might edit it if you's think it's bad, but I didn't know how to continue, so I made it up along the way...**

**Iggy: So basically, you got lazy, and gave these lovely people crap!**

**Twilightacademy: NO I DID NOT-**

**Iggy: KEEP YOU EYES ON THE ROAD!**

**Twilightacademy: Anyway, guys I'll try get back as soon as, okay, I hope you at least liked my chapter just a little bit*^^*...in future I'll try to do better, promise *^^***

**Iggy: You know I'd feel a lot better if you didn't drive and type, you know, AT THE SAME TIME!**

**Twilightacademy: ARE YOU SAYING I"M A BAD DRIVER-!**

**IGGY: THE ROAD, WOMAN!  
**

**Twilightacademy: Sorry...anyway, see you later guys x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, long time no see, thanks for reviewing*^^* and sorry I haven't updated in ages, what with exams and everything, but I finally found time to write a new chapter for my favourite story out of all mine anyway *^^***

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**Iggy: Hey guys I missed you like Max's cooking, nah I'm kidding guys good to be back.**

**Twilightacademy: yeah, I just couldn't kill you off just yet, I'd hate to deny Max the pleasure*^^***

**Iggy: why are you so evil?**

**Twilightacademy: Because you're my fictional hostage and I can!**

**Iggy: *evil glare* whatever, anyway I got fan mail so there!**

**Twilightacademy: yeah I know*rolls eyes* oh yeah, from silentflyer, how do you stash all the bombs actually??**

**Iggy: come on I can't give away my secrets….**

**Twilightacademy: Please……*puppy dog eyes***

**Iggy: ok if you get at least 1 or 2 reviews for this chapter I'll tell ya ok?**

**Twilight: Yeaaaaah! You heard the man, ok on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: Idea might not be originally but its mine and I still don't own the Max Ride series or Iggy ******

**Iggy: well that's what the restraining order said at least*smirk***

**Twilightacademy: ... Shut up!**

**Iggy…….Day 5**

**Subject: Out run by a girl…oh, the shame!**

**Well if it isn't my favourite flock of followers, how's it flying?**

**Well I'll be honest it wasn't looking good when Max entered the room now was it? But never fear I have a plan…..who am I kidding; no I'm as dead as a turkey in Christmas!**

'**Iggy Ride' Max's voice brought me back to reality; it was a mixture of I'm going to rip you apart slowly and you should have told me.**

'**Hi Max…..so…what are you doing here?' I asked in my most innocent voice possible…yes, its bad when you have to mimic Angel, I'll never full admire that girl for her cute looks and her evil ways….i guess some people have all the luck.**

'**Don't play innocent with me, you paedophile you!' wait lets reverse up about 100 miles! What the hell, I mean you were there…she seduced me, right??**

'**Max, she came onto me, you got to believe me' this had taken a turn for the worst hadn't it? But whats she going to do, go into a police station! Can you imagine the conversation! **

'_**Sorry for interrupting you please ignore the wings, but my little brother, well he's 14 but he sexually assaulted my 11 year old sister who also has wings!'**_

**And he'd probley say,**

'_**Ok, we'll follow up on that…have you told your parents about this?**_

**Well you can guess what she'd say, something along the lines of,**

'_**well my mom is recovering from being kidnapped by a big Asian company and my dad locked me in a cage for the most part of my life, so were not really on speaking terms, plus, the 'foster school' we went to probley has test-tube babies to genetically modify so there freaks of nature there whole lives and have to learn to survive by themselves!'**_

**I'd pay money to see that reaction; like that guy is probley thumping his head off the 'press if emergency' button somewhere. Yeah it will probley end up with us falling into the hands of mad scientists again...not good.**

'**Come on Max you'd no I would never make her do anything she doesn't want to, though I have to admit she could probley teach me a thing or too anyway..' she didn't look bad in that dress at all..She'd look better without it but beggars can't be choosers.**

'**IGGY, Don't even go there now shut up our I'll rip your head off!' yeah, no amount of time alone with nudge is worth the death glare from Max, I'd hate to be on the wrong side of her…..well it's a bit late for that now isn't it, YOU MORON!, then I heard Max sigh,**

'**Look Iggy, just come home and we'll discuss this as a family, ok?' she looked so tired I couldn't say no,**

'**Ok, sure, lead the way mom...come on Gazzy, I'm not going alone' I said it as a joke but I knew Gazzy could see the fear of god in my eyes. I heard him huff and mumble,**

'**The things I do for family…' and with that all three of us where U&A-ing out of there.**

**What had I gotten myself into!**

**Well, guys this is the religious part of my story when we all pray for my survival…church numbers must me soaring. I feel like ending in a TV soap opera way*clears throat and says in a theatrical voice*,**

_**Next Time on Iggy and Wings, what will the Flock do with this new found 'incest' relationship in the family? Will the flock break apart? Will fang ever go completely green, or dare I say, wear colour and will Max have to cook! Stay turned for next amateur written conclusion.**_

_**-**_**Iggy**

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**A/N:**

**Hey people, I know standards are low, and I can do a whole lot better but I'm running out of where to go with this but I actually want to finish at least one of my stories.**

**Iggy: She has a fear of commitment folks, it's why she can't hold down a guy…*drumroll* *^^***

**Twilightacademy: Your so full of it for a blind, winged, 6ft never ending, bird kid aren't ya!**

**Iggy: well if you wrote a decent chapter I wouldn't have to complain now would I?, instead I have to bribe them for reviews...must I do all the work in this relationship*shakes head mockingly***

**Twilightacademy: I'll kill you off eventually you know*death glare* anyway guys, I would really be super happy with even a little review, its great motivation to continue, and if you have any idea's could you help a sister out and let me know please and thank you*^^*x**

**Iggy: constructive critism is welcome but be gentle folks she's way sensitive and I'm running out of Kleenex, but if you have any questions, let me know guys, well I got to go and cook dinner, so safe flying to you all.**


	6. Day 6

**Twilightacademy: Hey guys, it's been ages since i updated this....or anything for that matter, sorry exams **** But I'm home, sick now****.**

**Iggy: Awhhhhh you poor thing, i can't imagine how hard it's been not making my life miserable... would you like a Kleenex...some chicken soup? **

**Twilightacademy: *sniffs*I know! And please...but anyway, i might as well do something...and studying is such an effort...**

**Iggy: there you go...but of course, Fanfiction is more important than studying for exams....**

**Twilightacademy: *grins* of course, so here we go...sorry if I'm rusty**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything...it's the recession so pretty self explanatory**

**Iggy: She's basically saying she's poor ...how the mighty fall**

**Twilightacademy: Don't you have to die somewhere...i read the new book **_**FANG, **_**you know...can't look at you in the same way again...traitor**

**Iggy: *huffs* oh shut up and write**

**Twilight academy: **

**Iggy Day 6**

**Subject: 'The Talk" **

**Hey guys, long time no see (metaphorically speaking) anyway,**

**Now I've heard( all i can do I'm afraid) some horrible and truly horrifying things in my fifteen years, such as(aren't i kind, i give examples..Not for the faint hearted i might add),**

**Evil diabolical plans**

**Cruelty to animals and people**

**Mad scientist talking in gibberish**

**Reality shows**

**And last but not least Max and Fang left to their own devices *shudders***

**But nothing, not even my experience on the run or being abandoned by my family could prepare me for this.....**

"**Ok flock..." said max uncomfortably, fidgeting with her jacket, after my 'infamous' return she had gathered the flock around 's kitchen table. Fang, forever the 'wing man' per say, was by her side but looked at the door longingly. Gazzy and me said the complete opposite end, fidgeting with wires...if things ended badly and nudge and angel sat on either side of the table, nudge reading **_**Seventeen **_** and angel with ridiculously over sized head phone that Max had stated ('Where for her own protection'**

"**She looks like an Eskimo who lost their way" **

"**Oh shut up Total")**

**Finally after we all settled down and the fire was successfully put out (in fairness i did tell Gaz the blue wire...would he listen...oh No), Max stood up purposefully and coughed,**

"**Ok flock, well we've encountered a lot of things, but this is something we cannot stop one way or the other" she stooped, a tad dramatic for my liking, we all waited anxiously, was there a crisis somewhere in the world? Where people in trouble? And since when did max say "Look folks, we came we saw, we lost so let's call it a day and chow on some cookies"...answer= Never.**

"**Look, guys, were lucky to have got this far in life, i mean people said we would last, we have and were the best ("Better than all the rest" **

"**Oh shut up everybody this is serious!")**

"**Look get to the point Max" said Gazzy...what a brave soul, my idol really. And then with the force of a nuclear bomb, Max said the sentence that would put the fear of god into any sane adolescence,**

"**Guys" she sighed "We need to have**_**... THE Talk**_**" and just like that all hell broke loose in the small kitchen (I guess Max had been right to sent Ella and Mrs. M out for groceries)**

**This is how the carnage went; it has been censored for the children's sake,**

"_**WHAT!"**_

"_**OHH GROSS"**_

"_**Are YOU SERIUOS"**_

"_**I CAN'T HEAR YOU...LA LA LA LA LA LA..."**_

"_**Can i take the head phones off....i can read your minds anyway you know"  
'NO KEEP THEM ON!"**_

"**HEY!" said Fang, who was casually watching all of this from the wall, as if this was a natural occurrence...which in a way it was,**

"**Fang-"said Max lamely, but Fang held up a hand.**

"**Look Max, let's sort this out rationally" he cleared his throat,**

"**Yeah" said Nudge enthusiastically, "And in the words of the sexy Edward Cullen, **_**Google it"**_

**The whole table was silence. Blank stares met...even blanker, confused stares.**

**Finally, angel broke the silence removing her headphones with some effort, "Well said"**

"**Agreed" said Fang bewildered, "shall we leave it at that then"**

"**Uh huh" said the whole table, and darted for the room before anyone changed their minds before anyone changed their minds on the matter.**

**I sprinted like the others, out of the kitchen and in to my familiar room, "ah it's good to be home" i thought absently, throwing myself down on the bed, gave a sigh of relieve, all thanks to the power of **_**Google, "some things could only be solved with Google", he thought smugly,**_

_**(**_**A****/N: He would never admit help form Edward Cullen...**

**Iggy: Damn right!).**

**And then with muffled laughter he heard, numerous inhales of breath, some curious approvals and some downright horrified exclamations, funnily enough all the people on the computer right then, as Iggy lay amused on his bed( he had Goggled 'THE talk" a very long time ago, with some help from Gaz, poor kid), all said the same thing,**

"_**.GOD!'**_

_**-Iggy**_

**P.s just goes to show folks the power prayer...but i wouldn't give your hopes up at the same time. I asked...prayed, for a sports car awhile ago...FYI God, still haven't seen it yet...**

**A/N: Twilightacademy: Well there you go, another chapter finished, yeah me**

**Iggy:*lies down on sofa* Yeah, not bad, what's that your fifth chapter...well haven't you come far...**

**Twilightacademy: *sighs sarcastically* would it kill you to be nice?**

**Iggy: Yeah probley*grins* anyway, i did promise to answer a question, didn't i?**

**Twilightacademy: Yes you did, thanks for reminding me, Ok*coughs* So Iggy, Where do you stash your bombs, so Max can't find them??**

**Iggy: Well, after many years of storing stuff in little things like watches or lining of clothes, it all seemed, well effort, so we came up with the only full proof way of transportation, through the runaway months....Nudges suitcase. Hear me out, we have our reasons.**

**Nudge the domestic goddess, doesn't go anyway without our suitcases and ,well, the flock don't go anyway without Nudge...so....you work it out, Plus Nudge's suitcase is territory even the mighty Max will not enter, also, when will Max check Nudges' stuff for bombs, wires..Home explosives, not to mention we don't even have to carry them anymore and Max is none the wiser. See Full proof. Obviously why I'm the brains and looks of the family. Oh the injustice.**

**Twilightacademy: Yeah, yeah... deflate that head of yours, you're in my personal bubble, i can't think**

**Iggy: yeah whatever, but if any of my adoring fans has a question...i have a answer*winks***

**Twilightacademy:*Huffs* so cheesy even by your standards, anyway, Please, please review, haven't seen one in awhile**


End file.
